Begin Again - Conclusion

Distracted while planning a fool-proof and speedy suicide, Eva never noticed everyone who was enjoying the view and the cool breezes on a hot, late July afternoon suddenly leave the area, en masse, almost running to their vehicles and driving off.

And then she saw. Standing at her car, her faded blue 12-year old Toyota Corolla, was a policeman, writing a ticket. A God-damn ticket. Barely able to pay her rent for a two-bedroom apartment, a ticket was definitely not in her budget. She walked as if to the gas-chamber, would there be a final meal? And up to the man in blue.

“Is this your car?” He didn’t look at her but continued in his mission.

“Yes, why am I getting a ticket?”

“There’s no parking here after 4pm.” He lifted his right hand and using the pen as a pointer gestured in the direction of the sign on a pole stuck in the sand. He finished writing the ticket and tore it off the pad, handing it to Eva. He could probably do this in his sleep, she thought. Still no eye contact.

Eva didn’t reach for the ticket. She turned to face the ocean. She was back to planning.

“Maybe I’ll just drive my car into the ocean.” She wasn’t sure if she said it out loud or if it was just another idea that could work like ‘How to Commit Suicide #5 – Drive your car into the ocean.’ She turned toward the policeman and finally met his eyes. They were a bright blue, kind and concerned. He searched hers for answers. A tear spilled out of the corner of her left eye and slid down her face, stopping at the corner of her mouth. She reached toward the ticket just as it was pulled away and torn up.

“Don’t do that. Stay as long as you want.” She watched him get back into his cruiser and drive slowly away. Eva took one last look at the ocean and the sun peeking out from behind a cotton ball cloud. She got into her Corolla and drove home.